glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
