you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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