I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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