to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
