Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
