I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
