my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
