Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
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