ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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