We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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