do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
