Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
