hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
