I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
