at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
