I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
