She said her name was "party"
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
