margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
