dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
my shit smells like andre
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
