I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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