Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
