Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
