I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Every concussion has its silver lining
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I need to align my fucking chakras
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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