I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
