let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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