i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
You made out with two different species that night
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
