I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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