WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
