Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
