with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
