i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
