i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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