i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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