Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
