Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Randomize
