Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
