just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
You left your underwear on the fireplace
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
