doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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