i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
