I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
