found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
