i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Less talking, more tequila
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Randomize
