i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Me. At least after what I've been through.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
