Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
