I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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