he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Randomize
