In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
