I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
