So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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