erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
